October 24, 2010

Der Computer Nr 3

Ok, this is a random find, but it's hilarious. It's a song from 1968 about, of all things, computer dating. It is surprisingly topical even forty years later, and it reads like a Jonathan Coulton song.

Oh... did I mention it was in German? Here's the lyrics; I found a bunch of hits for the lyrics in German but no translations, so here's my best shot (it's very easy German, actually):

Der Computer Nr. 3
sucht für mich den richtigen Boy,
und die Liebe ist garantiert für beide dabei.
Der Computer weiß genau
für jeden Mann die richtige Frau,
und das Glück fällt im Augenblick
aus seiner Kartei.
Computer #3
finds for me the right boy,
and love is guaranteed for both thereby.
The computer knows precisely
for every man the right woman,
and happiness emits in the blink of an eye
from its printouts.
Denn einer von vielen Millionen,
der wartet auf mich irgendwo.
For the one of many millions,
that waits for me somewhere
(Groß: 81-82, Kragen: 39, Schuhgröße: 46, stop!) (Weight: 180, neck: 15-1/2, shoe size: 12, stop!)
Der Computer Nr. 3
sucht für mich den richtigen Boy,
und die Liebe ist garantiert für beide dabei.
Computer #3
finds for me the right boy,
and love is guaranteed for both thereby.
Lange war ich einsam, heut' bin ich verliebt,
und nur darum ist das so,
weil es die Technik und die Wissenschaft
und Elektronengehirne gibt.
Long was I lonely, today I'm in love,
and that's so only thanks to it,
because there's technology and science
and electronic brains.
Der Computer Nr. 3
sucht für mich den richtigen Boy,
und die Liebe ist garantiert für beide dabei.
Der Computer weiß genau,
für jeden Mann die richtige Frau,
und das Glück fällt im Augenblick
aus seiner Kartei.
Computer #3
finds for me the right boy,
and love is guaranteed for both thereby.
The computer knows precisely
for every man the right woman,
and happiness emits in the blink of an eye
from its printouts.
Denn einer von vielen Millionen,
der wartet auf mich irgendwo.
For the one of many millions,
that waits for me somewhere
(Alt: 22 Jahre, schwarze Haare, von Beruf Vertreter, Kennzeichen: Geld wie Heu) (Age: 22, black hair, travelling salesman by trade, description: money to burn)
Der Computer Nr. 3
sucht für mich den richtigen Boy,
und die Liebe ist garantiert für beide dabei.
Computer #3
finds for me the right boy,
and love is guaranteed for both thereby.

Fabulous, nicht wahr?

(Ok, being terribly unsatisfied with my translation, I had to go ahead and try to rework it to fit the rhythm and meter of the song. I'm not very good at this. But here's a stab:

Computer #3
finds for me the perfect boy,
a love match guaranteed for him and for me.
The computer is precise
what it prints is more than advice
it calculates your one true love to print on the screen

For someone is just out there waiting;
Of millions of people one's mine!

[In Talking Moose voice:] (Weight a hundred eighty five, inseam thirty, shoe size twelve, done)

Computer #3
finds for me the perfect boy,
a love match guaranteed for him and for me.

I used to be lonely, now I am in love;
I owe it all to #3,
'cause it's all science and technology,
and an electronic brain.

Computer #3
finds for me the perfect boy,
a love match guaranteed for him and for me.
The computer is precise
what it prints is more than advice
it calculates your one true love to print on the screen

For someone is just out there waiting;
Of millions of people one's mine!

[Talking Moose again:] (Age: twenty seven, blond, profession: CPA, description: loaded with dough)

Computer #3
finds for me the perfect boy,
a love match guaranteed for him and for me.

...adequate. I've already spent sooooo much more time on this than I should, though.)

"Most [liberals] believe that conservatives vote against their own interests. I think that's ridiculous; they just hate their fellow Americans a lot and vote their values." --Michael Kimmitt

Posted by blahedo at 9:06pm on 24 Oct 2010
Comments
Good find and thanks for translating. She's looking for a 22 year old rich guy with big feet. Hmm. Posted by Andrew E at 11:46pm on 19 Jul 2014
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