Digital Analogue

&^$&^(* Secretary of State

Just got off the phone with the Secretary of State's office. They're now claiming that my plates will arrive around the last week of this month, or perhaps the first week of April. I asked him why it was taking so long. "Well, sir, they have to be made, and that takes time." Why does the website say six weeks then? "I don't know why the website would say that, it takes about two months." Nevermind that it's already been three months since I sent them my money.

To recap. The illiterate cretin at the BMW dealership made me get a random-number plate for my Mini because he was either too lazy to fill out the form for a personalised plate or too incompetent to know how. So, I had to wait until I'd gotten my numbered plates to file for new personalised plates. This I did in early November. Early December I received an application for personalised plates (that previous month was what it took them to check and see that my requested number was available). This I filled out and sent in my money, on 16th December.

On 23rd January, my check cleared.

On 29th January, my order "processed".

The first week of February, I called the SoS, and they said that the order processed on the 29th and that my plates would arrive in two weeks---whether from the 29th or from the day I called, it wasn't clear, but it was false in any case.

The last week of February, I called back. This time I got an incredibly long story about some warehouse fire, and there were shipping delays, and something something, but that in any case my plates should be arriving in a few more days, or a week at the outside.

So, I called back today, with the results I describe above. Oddly enough, in rereading the form I notice that it says a minimum of six weeks. In which case, I wonder why nobody pointed that out? And where were they getting their numbers? Thin air? It seems like an odd policy---if someone had said right off the bat that it would take until April, I would've grumbled, but I wouldn't have kept pestering them every couple weeks....

As the sign in my Women's Clinic puts it: "Never put anything into your vagina that you wouldn't put in your mouth". (OK, I know you wouldn't put a tampon in your mouth either. You know what I mean.) --ruadh