The Paper Weight (APCS Oral History) (2018 edit)

Sung to the tune of "The Weight" by The Band

(Original verses by Bill Skillcorn)

Refrain:
Take a stack from Frannie
Grade a stack for Trees
Take a stack from Frannie
And... put a stack in front of me

1984

I pulled into Trenton and was feelin' 'bout half past dead
I've been trying to find a place where I can grade, I said.
Oh David Rine can you tell me, how you can use this man
He said "I don't know", just say "ALOHA!" when you can

So I found my table leader, his name was Henry Walker
And everybody knows that he wasn't much of a talker
But Henry said if you wanna work for me
Don't ever, ever give a paper more than three

1993

The spreadsheet numbers, we know they never lie
Come about Monday morning, we were about to cry
But then we checked the book count with the tally against the door
Oops, pardon me Owen, we found one thousand more.

2012

Here we are in the Hyatt and the scoring is all done.
A week of working hard, who'd-a thought be so much fun?
Games and chats and puzzles by Scott the master of the quiz.
Say "Aloha Jody" and then say "Aloha Liz"

2015

First time in Kansas City, and the parking lot got closed
We dined out on barbecue with 3,000 other folks
Our walk to work and lunch is now three blocks, inside
The backread backlog cleared, and we finished right on time.

2018

Added International, and the testing date moved back.
Lots of people worried, 'cause exams came after Calc.
Our cruise ship captain kept the folders flowing even---
I just hope there aren't too many still arriving on day 7.

Coda:
Now catch the cannon ball to take me down the line
My butt is gettin' flat and I do believe it's time
To get back to my family you know they're the only ones
Who think I'm here drinkin' beer and having lots of fun.